We are not alone

Have you ever wondered how, been overwhelmed by the future unknowns of your ability to trust? 

Knowing God can, but unsure of the answers that will come?
Not sure of what he will ask, what you have to sacrifice to take that step…
well, that's where I've been recently.

As many of you have known, we are a military family. And as many military families do, we have times of separations, or deployments. 

When I first moved overseas over 10 years ago, I had no intentions on becoming a military wife. I mean, yes the men in uniform are handsome, but I never thought of myself as "military wife" material. 

I was raised in a proud 1st generation American family, hard working middle class parents, born and raised in the inner city, never moved until I graduated from high school. 

I am the youngest in my family. I never liked being alone.  I always wanted to have people around and like any good young sibling- bugged my older siblings to play with me… constantly.

I absolutely hated being alone. 

You see, I was afraid, literally afraid to be alone. I never went anywhere without leaving a door open. They were open just in case something happened to me. I wanted to have access to my family, to help if needed. It was a pretty ridiculous fear.  My older siblings always took it upon themselves to let me know the humor would not be missed. I'm sure the blackmail pictures still circulate my parents' home somewhere. Regardless, even though I knew the Polaroid was lurking around the corner, it took me until middle school before I wanted to close the door to any room. Still my fear of being alone was right there.

Slowly in college, God worked on this fear I had about loneliness. He revealed to me that He could be and would be my strength, my shield, and I didn't have to be afraid.

It transformed my life. I literally remember the day I looked at life differently. And at the ripe old age of 19, I thought that was all I needed to learn about that fear. 

Fast forward 20 years and here we are again.

When I married my military husband I really had no clue what life would be like. Coming from a non military family I had no expectations of how women did the constant moving, the constant packing and unpacking, and least of all- the constant times of being alone. 

This past weekend we said goodbye to my husband for a very long 10 month deployment. The last time he deployed I was pregnant with my second child and my oldest was just 1 1/2 years old. 

Much different now with a 7 yr old, 5 yr old, and an 9 month old.

The kids now know he is gone.  They miss him badly. The house is different at dinner time, the quiet after they are in their beds is deafening. My cell stays near me at all times- just in the case he can get a line through and call me. I check my email about 10 times a day to see if he has written.
I wait. 

I sit.
I realize I am being confronted with an old friend-
fear. 

The fear of being alone.

Except this time I am different. I have known the Lord longer now, and I see it differently.

Until recently, I haven't had to act out my trust with God in a long time, I haven't had to pray the silent prayers and wonder if He's heard. 

It isn't long before old thoughts creep in, and you wonder how is He going to do this?

Looking at God, speaking to Him with a new dependance and raw need for Him to be more in my heart, to transform me to be more like Him. When I prayed that prayer a few months ago I never imagined He would use the deployment. 

I really didn't imagine much at all. 

However, in His great love for us, I am astounded by His ways of showing me I am not alone.

 We are  not alone in my journey.
I have heard His calling as a woman from church calls to tell me she's getting mentors for my kids. I've heard His whisper when a neighbor brings a meal by for us. I've seen His great love when a friend says, she stopped by to chat. I've felt His presence as a fellow military wife at church holds me in an embrace. I've seen His ways as many friends and family both near and far write us messages telling us they will pray, they will intercede for us. Texts from loved ones telling us we are in their thoughts. People sharing on FB (we don't even know and will never meet) are praying for us. Lifting me and my sweet three kids up to Him who is faithful. 

I sit here thankful that although I am alone, I am not.

 I sit here grateful that in His great faithfulness He has us in His hands. Just as the picture (of my husband and son) demonstrates above,
God is holding us.
Not loosely, not barely, but tightly. 

He is here, right where we need Him.

As the school year starts and as we busy ourselves with the preparations of the fall, I pray you realize no matter the prayer, no matter the concern, 

you are not alone.

He is holding you-
 not loosely,
not barely,
but tightly.

Much love to you all,

Crecia

The third part to our education…

Yep, I'm still here. I bet you might have been wondering, (at least I have wondered) if I would ever pick up this blog thing again. Ok, humor me and let's act like you've noticed I haven't blogged in over 5 months. Seriously, where did that time go? 

In the midst of getting the house ready and praying to God my husband could be here for my son's birth, hosting 7 different family members, my husband leaving on work trips, in the midst of adding a newborn to our homeschool days, in the midst of all that… 

I've been sleeping instead of blogging. 

But when breastfeeding, I've been thinking a lot about this past year. I've been thinking about why I started homeschooling, where we are going to finish and if I'm going to teach in the summer or not. And like every military family out there, there is always another move, another deployment and another factor to take into consideration for this fall. 

But before I take you down those crazy rabbit trails, let me take you to my heart.

In December I had the most wonderful little boy named Matteo Christopher. He was perfectly made and we were wonderfully blessed. He has been an "easy" baby as some say, but adjusting to taking care of him and teaching had it's challenges. 

Against advice I kept home schooling my kiddos and did not enroll them in full time school even though things got increasingly difficult. 

With the third came a whole host of questions one of which was, 

"Can I really do this well?"

As many of you have heard the biggest argument of home schooling is if our kids were getting enough socialization. And if I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times, 

"My child just needs more socialization."

But let's be honest here- really honest. Home schooling isn't difficult because we have to arrange their social calendars, or because we have to teach them how to add or subtract. Homeschooling is difficult and long suffering when we are not our best. We are around each other (for better or worse) 24 hours a day, and some days, it's just tough.

I typically thought of our schooling in two categories: Academic and Social. Because after all, isn't that what they offer at the best schools? But I realized my flaw when God spoke to me about a third part, their emotional schooling.

This is hard to admit for me. I was easy on myself with the other two categories, but emotional??? 

I mean, come on Lord. I can't be blamed for their happiness and crying fits in the home as well? 

As it is I already have a tremendous heart and burden that I direct them to You. Which I previously wrote about here, but emotional too?

I started to think critically about my responses to them at the end of the day. I started to ask God to show me what the day would feel like through their eyes. 

I started to ask myself, 

"Could another teacher (at a public or private school) show them more patience, more kindness, more energy than me?" 

In January my husband left on another work trip (about a month after my son was born) and I was alone, on my own again. While he was gone it was a wake up call to me. 

While I fought the naysayers and battled through keeping a schedule and no sleep, I struggled with confidence that I was offering them the best education out there. I was humbled and embarrassed at how I fuddled through the days and in the end hollered at them as I put them to bed because I was just tired. I was exhausted and drained and had no sign of relief. 

And then God came near.

Not like in a cloud or anything, but in my heart. In my mind, before I would yell about legos hurting my feet as I walked across the floor, before I asked if anyone was even listening to me, I heard myself. I saw our days and night turn into a picture I hated and surely they did too.

I was so sad and felt defeated. I felt like I had failed them and failed God.

Then I got a call from a preschool that was connected from our church and they told me they had a spot for my daughter. This school has a wait list of 4 years- no joke. So, I wondered if this was God's way of letting me off the hook. I could enroll my oldest in Kinder and let my daughter go off and be educated some where else. And I could get my house back in order: file the papers that collected at our door, clean out closets that have been untouched since before Matteo was born, catch up on laundry, cook real meals again, shop with ease, nap when my baby napped, and be a "happy mom" when they got home from school.

But instead I prayed that God would show me what it was He wanted me to change so I could get my house back in order. Now last time I prayed this, He asked me to leave our learning community, so you can only imagine how excited I was to pray this prayer again.

Here's what I heard (in a roundabout way)- and here's what I think applies to all of us no matter where we are in this journey.

________________________________

You are not alone. I am here. I am here in the silence. I am here in the chaos. I am with you when they are not listening. I am here when you cannot sleep at night because you worry about the day's goings. I am here. And I will lead you to a joyful spirit again. You are forgiven for your mistakes and are given grace instead. I called you and I will finish this Good Work in YOU.

______________________

So, each day I would ask God to remind me of these things and to remind me to get back to what He called me to do.

I did a few simple things and have felt like they have made all the difference for my life, our school day, and most importantly their emotional state as well.

1) I have an accountability partner that I will spill the beans to if I lose my temper.

2) I started our praise and worship time again.

3) I acknowledged the need to put in more field trips and excursions (especially when the weather is permissible). 

4) I am learning to rest in the days that don't go as planned, but still go.

5) I am coming back to more of my own personal teaching style and trying hard not to fit myself in another mold.

6) I made clearer expectations of myself and what I am capable of in terms of activities and involvements with other mom groups. I even quit some mid year. That was hard.

7) I started once again, to make the crock pot my friend.

8) I've learned to ask for help when needed and accept it when offered.

9) I've taken a couple teacher in service days. :)

10) I've spent more intentional time "enjoying" my kids and tickling them during breaks. 

All of these things and more, have helped me with my patience, my joy, my love for our days again. Are we perfect? No. Is it a messy house? Yes. Are we getting a lot done? I hope so. 

But now more than ever, do my children know they are loved? Yes.

So, my friends, can I finish this year? Yes. Will I teach them again next year? Don't know. 

But I do know God is with me and He will be with you regardless of what He is calling you to do.

He will finish this good work in you.

Much love and many blessings to you,

Crecia

Us, as relatable women...

So recently, I have been thinking about how much we are taught to compare. We compare from early on, who has the biggest candy, who has the newest toys, and grow into teens thinking about our hair, clothes, bodies, and more. We are thrown into a world that compares us before we even know the meaning of the word. We compare our child's weight, hair color, eyes, milestones, etc. As parents, we compare our children's behavior, our children's habits, our Husband's schedules, our children's academic progress, our homes, our decorations, our relationships, we compare EVERYTHING!

And even though I think it's important to compare certain things, like how I felt about kids before having them and how I feel now, or how I made dinners before and how I throw things together now, or laugh at how long I spent fixing my hair and how the lack of showers abounds now- most comparisons leave us in one place. 

Disconnected.

I know this because when I am comparing myself to others all I do is stop seeing them as someone I can relate to. Since I've been consciously trying to stay off my mobile FB app during the school hours, I notice how much I am not comparing. Now, this is not to say that I dislike FB, on the contrary. It makes me feel connected to friends and family... as long as I don't compare.

People compare on blogs, Pinterest, at Co Op's, at ladies' lunches, they compare all the time. So staying off FB doesn't cure the problem. As far as I can tell comparing goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. The serpent got them to think what life would be life if they just.... and once they did they had comparisons.

I was just telling my husband how much I miss a colleague of mine because of the feedback I would get from her. She never saw us in a comparing way, but just always worked to teach me how to relate to others. She was a true role model of self confidence and resilience against the comparing world.  

I think this comparing happens amongst moms across the board. Working moms, stay at home moms, home school moms, it's something we all deal with. So here is what I'm working to do today to stop the comparisons. When I hear or notice it happening, I'm going to stop and think about three things I can relate with that person. I might even tell them as often relating out loud helps others know we are aren't comparing.

I hope by the end of the week, I can see the difference relating makes.

Blessings to you and yours!

-Crecia

Best Recipes Part 1

So just about this time of year I always sign up to deliver a meal to someone. I don't know about you, but sometimes that is just a tad overwhelming. Partly because I love cooking and want to make them this knock your socks off meal and partly because I'm low on time these days. Relate?

But I thought I would gradually share the recipes that are amazing. You know the ones that everyone says, "Can I have that recipe?" Because let's face it, those are the winners by a land slide. And I would only share it if it took 30- 45 minutes to make. No gourmet here, just simply good.

So if you are looking for something new to impress some guests, or take to family's house- here's my best pasta dish. I always make double (one for my family and one to freeze or give away). I make the ricotta mixture for just my husband and I. My kids don't like the texture of Ricotta, so instead I add a lot of fresh parmesan on their side of the dish. 

"Baked Pasta with Ricotta and Olives"

(taken from The Best Simple Recipes)

1 cup ricotta cheese (I always use a little more :)

3/4 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese

1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

Salt and Pepper

2 Tablespoons olive oil

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 (28 oz) can of diced tomatoes

1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives, chopped (fresh are best, but I've used jarred as well)

1/4 cup chopped fresh basil

1 pound campanelle or penne (or any kind of small cut pasta)

1. Adjust oven rack to top position and heat broiler. Bring 4 quarts of pasta to boil in large pot. Meanwhile geese shallow 2 quart baking dish. I  use a rectangular baking dish. Combine ricotta, 1/2 cup Parmesan, and lemon zest in bowl and season with salt and pepper.

2. Heat oil in large skillet over medium- high heat until just smoking. Add garlic, and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.Add tomatoes and cook until thickened, about 10 minutes. Off heat, stir in olives and basil. Season with salt and pepper.

3. Meanwhile, add 1 tablespoon salt and pasta to boiling water and cook till al dente. Drain pasta and return to pot. Stir in tomato sauce and transfer mixture to baking dish. Dollop ricotta mixture over pasta and sprinkle with remaining Parmesan. Broil until top is spotty brown, about 3 minutes. Serve.

Notes: I like to add more cheese than called for because I like cheese and it's the only protein in the dish, so I splurge. I have done it with Lemon Zest (that is not fresh) and it just doesn't cut it. Also I've used dried basil as a substitute and that's a no go as well. I rarely suggest sticking to a recipe, but this one always gets rave reviews when I do, so I'm convinced they know more than me. If you do freeze, don't broil at the end. Just cover with saran wrap and foil tightly. Then let come to room temp and heat in the oven. You will need to add a little tomato sauce when baking, but it should turn out fine. 

Ok, next week I'll share my easiest bread recipe with you. No bread machine, no 2nd rise, and whole wheat, so get ready!

If you try it- let me know how it turns out, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion. :)

Blessings,

Crecia

Our Beautiful Mess!

So this year MOPS has a theme called "Our Beautiful Mess"- when I first heard this, I thought what a great theme. I mean don't we all want to acknowledge the messes of life and be real with each other? 

So here is my beautiful mess... something that I know many of you cleaning, organized moms will cringe at. 

I know- it's scary isn't it? I mean where do I even begin to explain the anatomy of this mess? Shall I start with the bubble container that is hiding behind the lemonade container turned upside down? Both of which have been on my counter for months. Of course they have moved closer and closer to the sink, but still.  Or should I address the butter that is sitting out that needs to be refrigerated? Maybe the non intentional science experiment that has started growing in my fridge only to be moved to my sink area.

So why this picture? Why not one of my kids working wonderfully doing their work for the week? Because you've seen those and you know how they look! This is something that I feel we all need to see in the beginning of the year. 

Overwelmed? Yep. Undershowered? Yep. Losing laundry throughout the house? Yep. Exhausted each night? Yep. Wishing you had magic powers to clean the place up? YEP!

This is where we are all at. Atleast those of us "normal" moms. I think every year I get about a month into home schooling and wonder, "What the heck were you thinking?"

 Then I remember. This too will pass. I will eventually clean the messes up in the kitchen, under the table, and those scattered throughout the entire house. My house may not be the cleanest most presentable house all the time, but it does get this way during times of stress- I'll be honest and say my kitchen resembles my mind right now. So even though I will go through a cleaning rampage and get it done, it's just a lot of work!

So what are your ways to minimize stress? 

What are you doing that will help you stay calm and healthy while you work non stop at home and care for and teach your children?

Here are some great things I am using that I love. I'm sure you've known about them much longer than me. 

1) Chore Charts! 

I have a love hate relationship with them. But recently I found a site that does it all for me, so serious jackpot! You can make your charts for just about anything here. I'm really working towards independence in our home and trying to get my kids to just do all the right things without me needing to bug them. So we implemented these and they actually love them. It takes about 10 min to create one and they save so you can make it faster for subsequent children! Plus it's free.

2) Simplified meals and recipes

Now I'm sure you all have your great recipe sites you love, and there are a million great bloggers out there that have amazing recipe / menu organizers. I've tried them all.  So I'm just going to make a post about my favorite recipes of the week. Starting this weekend, I will have that as a link. But here is my favorite dessert recipe that is oh sooo easy! Homemade fudge! I tweek it a little each time, so far my favorite by far is a butterscotch and chocolate fudge. (I always double the recipe). So I do 3 cups semi sweet and 1 cup butterscotch.

3) Simply Fun Ideas

Do you ever feel like the day is so much busier than you had dreamed? And you are not as "fun" or making the right memories at home? Well I do. So I have decided that at least once a week I will promise to get on the floor or snuggle on my bed and do something that is truly "fun" with my kids. We've done painting their faces, making tents out of blankets, having "tickle time"- I mean the list is there in our heads. We don't need Pinterest to define fun. We knew "fun" before Pinterest was invented. It should require little prep and loads of smiles. Might be a little bit of clean up, but that's what hoses are for (or showers if you are not in the hot south). Sometimes it's simply playing play do with them, and enjoying a phone free play time.

4) Phone free, gadget free during the teaching day

Now I depend on my phone to teach by playing music off it throughout the day, so I do have it around. But I do have a strick rule of not taking any calls or answering text while we are teaching. I remember the day when I didn't have a cell phone and we would just take the ringer off the hook. Why can't we do the same?  I've taken FB off my phone during the week and put it back on during the weekends, but truly I might just take it off all the time now. I mean I still have a computer if I really want to know what everyone is doing in their lives.

So that's it. Real and simple. 

My kitchen at it's worst and my hope is that you will see we all have some beautiful messes in our lives.

When I go to bed each night I do not want to think of all the things I didn't do, 

but rather all the things I did do! 

Today I spent hours of one on one time with my kids. Today I invested in them not decorating! Today I was home while they smiled and laughed and heard their cute stories. Today I was alive and well to teach them about all that came up in my heart today. 

Now you try it. It's good to think on these things.

Much love,

Crecia

A Book Review and thoughts there after...

So last school year I was asked by Beth from "Classical Conversations at Home" to be a part of a book club that would review education books. First and foremost I was so honored that she had included me and my small blog in her idea. I was excited and agreed right away- even with a move lurking over my shoulder. I was still in "super mom" mode and thought I could get it all done. Well, I got the book, read it right away, did the giveaway, and had planned to write about it before we made our move and publish it on the road. But like in my last post, God changed my plans. He asked me to be silent.

Silent? Yep! That's right, I felt the need to be silent about the book. I mean didn't the Lord know that I "blogged" and that was the point of my blog???  I thought silence was the hardest command  after fasting. And yet every person that knows me can testify that "silent" has never been the way people describe me. But all my friends and prayer partners confirmed in me that I should not write the review over the time period laid out. So I reluctantly emailed the other bloggers and said I was busy moving and couldn't do it. I felt bad that I had "backed out," but promised a later date.  

I was in the middle of the move and knew that I would not do any service to the CC community to do it in a hurry, with the jumbled up thoughts that I had then. 

So many months later, here is my most thoughtful and prayed over review.

______________________________________________

The book I'm referring to is called Teaching the Trivium by the Bluedorns. First off I read their book wanting to gain more insight on Classical education and looked forward to ways I could teach my kids and myself in that way. 

The book is filled with a compiled collection of articles that they had written over the years, some chapters are specifically dedicated to teaching Latin, some to the Trivium, some to questions from subscribers all over the country. The articles, although written years ago, were saved and made into one book. Essentially it was their newsletters published as an anthology of sorts. 

There were some articles that I felt were harder to agree with than others, and as I read through them I actually felt the need to put the book down a few times as my blood pressure would rise and I would say, "What?" out loud. Thus, explaining God's command. 

They spoke of many wonderful points about how to make your home a peaceful educational place, and they also spoke of keeping things simple and your teaching of the classics simple. Those parts I agreed with wholeheartedly, even though I had done huge projects that were a blast, I knew what point she was making and could see her perspective. 

However, there were other things said that I really had to take time to digest. She had very strong opinions on literature that wasn't "classical" and libraries. They had extremely narrow views about the girls' upbringing in terms of expectations and jobs that she felt they were expected to do by age 15 or so.  She discouraged all computer and TV watching claiming things that were not researched however opinionated. They discouraged sports for girls and went on to say that they should learn to knit, crochet and sew above other things. She also had views about college that I had rarely heard and spoke with authority over those who had doctorates and how they were "more confused" than when they had began. (A little side note my husband has many degrees and one of which is a doctorate. ) They had very strong opinions about public and private school and misquoted scripture to state we all must do it "this" way. They also spoke of how teachers often couldn't transition from school teaching to home schooling well and often didn't make the best home schooling moms because of our past experiences. (So as you know, the former teacher in me, hollered, "What?" right about then as well.) She spoke about how children learned and in her experience she felt it was ok to have a non reader in your family up until around 9 or 10 years old (approximately 3rd or 4th grade). And that is when I had a screeching halt.

You see I could understand all of the above to a point. I saw the value of the "other side" of her views as adding to my discussion in life with those who think differently than me. I enjoy conversations that sharpen me and get me to think about what I truly believe. And for that I thank Mr. and Mrs. Bluedorn as their book solidified in me my own beliefs about education.

As you know I have a daughter and son and as you can figure our hope for them is to both go to college one day and follow God in whatever fashion they feel led. If however, God were to lead them down another path I would gladly cheer their obedience to God. I do feel strongly about many things such as too much TV is bad for them, too much computer time or the wrong video games are not for us. I limit all of that, but I do allow them to watch TV once a week under our supervision and really try to teach them how to pick out quality shows that are honoring to God and our family. I also think Starfall and other great sites are wonderful for kids under certain perimeters.  All electronics are closely monitored in our home and use thereof. A tall order in today's world, but nonetheless important. I also believe that children should help out around the house and that boys and girls should learn to prepare food and clean before they leave the home. I want independence for both of them in regards to home life. I do believe my daughter and son can benefit from athletic organizations outside of the home and if so chose to learn to knit or sew I'd be happy to teach them.

I also value classical literature (for as a teacher, I loved what the classics of Homer and Shakespeare give us), but I do not void going to the library today since it is filled with other books that are not classical. I still see value to teaching them how to chose good books and make choices that are pleasing to God.

I also understood her opinion of how former teachers had a rough time transitioning to home school as we often thought our houses could become a classroom at home. I related to some of it, but never felt like God's call on my life to teach my children was any different as other moms, regardless of me being a teacher. 

But in the case of reading, I completely and admittedly disagreed. Here's why and here's me getting very personal about my childhood...

_______________________________________________

I was raised in the inner city, I was raised by two hard working parents that did their best to find schools that were "academic" and "known" for their reputations. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me and my siblings to a private school till 8th grade. We all went to a private school K-8th. If I calculated the math, that would mean a lot of money, even back then. My parents felt strongly about influence and wanted us to be in a great school. For that I thank my parents today.

I set foot in a public school in 7th grade for 9 weeks and then headed back to my private school as I was instantly picked on and stalked by students that frightened me. Needless to say, my private school was in a "different" neighborhood and all my friends were 10X wealthier than us. I didn't fit in, but tried my hardest to belong. 

When I was young, very young, I remember thinking I had something wrong with my brain. I couldn't read a text without letters reversing order, I had to re read a text over and over to get comprehension. If I was ever called on to read out loud, (a personal nightmare of mine) I had to go ahead and read the text many times, often making me lose my place in the class as I prepped for the read aloud. I was not in the "A" group, and remember struggling to get out of the "C" group. Most importantly, I thought I was dumb. I thought I was just not as smart as my peers and really hated reading in school. 

Eventually things got a bit easier, but I always carried those thoughts with me, even today I have to fight them off at times when I speak to friends about certain things. So I rarely discuss my own childhood feelings, I don't even remember telling my mom, because I knew that my school was the best she could offer. 

I went off to public high school and made my way. I was outspoken and persistent. I requested honors classes because I wanted to work harder and promised myself that I could do it if I worked, no matter the extra hours it took for me to learn. I made it. I went on to college and got a degree in elementary education because I wanted to help other kids read. As I was in college I heard about learning disabilities and things like ADD and ADHD. I learned about their characteristics and all the ways they surfaced. It was then that I did a self diagnosis and deemed myself not "dumb" but with ADD. I'm sure I had a reading disability as well, but eventually I learned to cope and was able to get past it. I still see my ADD surface as an adult. 

I say all this to say, I understand when a child struggles. I get it. When I became a teacher and worked with kids who struggled with reading I worked with all my heart to get those kids to believe one thing, they were not "dumb" they were just needing it in a different way. I can tell you stories and stories of how I did this, as my passion grew from one experience to the next. 

I never wanted a child to leave my class thinking they were "dumb"- never! 

Fast forward to last year. I met incredible moms in my CC community. Many of which had degrees of all sorts. They're husbands had graduate degrees as well, we were all in the same boat- we all wanted the best for our kids and felt God had led us there.

Many of which spent hours and hours doing research and teaching their children all the work related to CC. Some even spoke to me personally about their concerns for their kids' reading level. Some noticed they were behind and some questioned what curriculum would best fit their needs. I never once thought, "Oh just don't worry, they will get it eventually." In fact as home schooling moms I ask you all to hear me, if you have taken the insurmountable task of educating your children, we have taken on the great task of getting them resources when needed. I encourage all of you to not settle if you see your child struggling to read or write or whatever, but to adapt, supplement, ask others and be an advocate for your child. I do this not because I solely believe in what a child is capable of, but I do this as a former child with learning disabilities. 

For there are many things I wish to never pass on to my kids and one of which is my idea of not being smart enough.

Did you know that at one point, the state of Indiana chose how many prison cells they needed to build based on reading scores from a child's third grade reading test? In fact the research is out there that struggling readers will have a much harder time in their entire schooling and most tend to fall behind if not caught by 2nd grade. So what does this mean for us? What does it mean for me as a mom?

It means I will NOT give up or settle for my child to not read by 1st grade or catch up by 2nd. It does mean that I do believe my kids need to be at grade level even if that means I have to find a new curriculum or find outside resources. It means even if I am exhausted and tired and don't want to spend the energy to teach my kids to decode words or work on sounds that I will do it. 

Please hear my heart in this post, I know many moms who are very stretched and very busy holding up all the balls in the air. I'm one of them. So this is not a guilt post for you, it's really a look at what is most important for their overall success in learning. I do not believe that any home schooled child who is struggling to read by 3rd grade will always struggle or end up in prison. But I do believe reading is serious. 

So when I read books (such as the Bluedorns') that contradict those ideals I have to take a step back and evaluate why. I pray that you would hear God as He leads all of you to a successful year and pray that you would consider all resources for your children. 

But never give up. 

Never let go of the goal to teach them that they are not "dumb" but truly just learn differently. 

Please do not assume they will not notice their struggle. It is real to them and all children who struggle need our help. They know even if you do not tell them, all children who struggle know this about themselves. But let us encourage one another, be or resource to one another. The things available now are amazing! No one should have to struggle, we have too many resources out there to help us now.

If your reading curriculum works for you, great, but if not, seek others. There are too many out there to not find one that fits your child. I joke about buying many different curriculums, naming myself an curriculum-oholic. But truly it's the greatest thing I can do to meet the individual needs of my kids in such a specific way. 

With that said, I hope you know I value all the other things I can learn from this book and hope we can always come to an agreement that no matter the road God has us on, whether home schooling, private, or public, 99% parents do it for their child's best intent and some actually feel called to do it differently than me. I feel that is okay as well. I trust God can take on the job of leading everyone in His will for their child's life. 

Might I also encourage you that your hard work and long hours will pay off. You will never regret being there when your child soars and reads through a book with fluency. The road to get there might be difficult, but well worth it. 

As a side note, I have loved and appreciated other books on classical education, two of which I own as well, The Core by Leigh Bortins and The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. Definitely both echo my beliefs a little better. And if you haven't' read the children's book titled Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polocco, you should. It makes for a great conversation piece for any child that struggles in reading.

Blessings to you all as we journey this road together. 

Ephesians 3:20

Ready to take Flight....

So have you ever had one of those seasons where you wondered where you were going and what you had gotten yourself into?

I have plenty of times- especially this summer. The things that I held near and dear to my heart were always there, but unexpected good things definitely fogged my navigation window. Much like this picture of my son being at the pilot's seat, I felt like I had all these buttons to learn, but I was left alone with only God on a radio and me as the pilot.

God is really good at surprising me and I usually love surprises. I'm the kinda gal that loves spontaneity and adventure filled agendas with nothing on the menu but fun. But once in a while, my life takes a turn and I am just shocked by my unrealistic expectations of reality.

First off, I thought I would never have another child. Although I wanted a quiver full, I was under the impression that we wouldn't have any more (not due to physical limitations- just due to other factors.) And I was feeling kinda okay with it- afterall I was getting older, my kids were getting independent and I was thinking of how I would educate them till I transitioned them to school one day. All of which fit perfectly in "my new plan." Then God moved and fogged my window in the future. 

I was pregnant. Simple as that, we were expecting our third. I went through a surreal moment different from the others because this was truly a GOD moment. I felt overwhelmed that He had heard my prayers and confused about what this meant for us and my family. Silly I know, but its true. 

Then we moved. Much like all military families you know the date, you know the place, and you move right into a..... hotel! It's fun while you search around the new neighborhood and then at the end of the day, you just really wish you were back at home (which happened to not be here). And of course while we are cleaning out the new place and accepting our tagged items - one by painstakingly one, I think of all the things I have to do to make this place a home. Not just the aesthetics, as most military wives can do that with their eyes shut, but the real stuff- the church, the community, the connecting, and making new friends. 

You see I've learned that even though I move to a new place, not everyone there is waiting for me to get here. I know shocking. And they also have their own lives and friends. Imagine... But it's true. So although my sweet aunt basically told me to buck up and make new friends when I whined on FB. And even though I was trying, real friends just don't come in a box when you move into a new neighborhood. You can't go to a restaurant and order up a new batch of friends for you and your family. Your kids don't always have a best buddy across the alley for them to yell to and no matter the times we went to the local park there was no guarantee we would find them there.

We are people and we all take time. So we waited.
I searched every outlet available. I befriended dog walkers and people who mistakenly smiled my direction. I tried. And at the end of the day, my pregnant self and sweet kids just missed our home and friends. My husband was gone on a "work up" (jargon for military work trip) just days after we unpacked and I was left listening to all the cracks and creeks of a new house- wishing it could be a home, our home.

I would pull them close at night just to make sure if I had to leave (because someone saw us alone that day) that I could gather them up in a hurry and get out right away. I didn't sleep. I just laid there, waiting for the sun. 

I never doubted God was near. I always knew He heard me. But I was just waiting to make this our home. I went to every Bible Study available, I signed them up to every camp available, I called every person who gave me their number, I dove right into volunteering at our VBS, I organized play dates and park dates with any group I could. 

I knew God was listening, but I just wanted a peace about the journey. Some clarity at my window- but nothing, still fog.

Slowly as the summer gave out it's beautiful fresh sun rays, I knew the question of, " When would I feel a peace about school?" needed to be answered. I knew I wanted to home school, but I also knew I had limitations. I had a new baby on the way and a husband headed out to sea almost every month. I knew my kids loved being at home, but I also knew I had to get them out and organize much more than I could provide on my own.  I needed time to exercise while alone and still make time to rest each night. I was aware that my house needed more hours than I could give when I was schooling, yet without a "paying job" could I justify to hire out? And why couldn't I do it all? I mean isn't that what every other home schooling momma did?

So I prayed and searched. And prayed some more and searched more.  Finally I was coming to a vision of ahead but it wasn't CC? What??? Hold the phone?
How could God call me to be so involved and yet not confirm this? I mean CC was the only thing I knew. It was the only certain thing I had planned for in the new place.
It was my comfort, my forte, my one good plan. 

But the more time I spent praying the more I felt we needed to move in a different direction. However, this momma didn't want to branch out on her own, for heaven sakes, I was already in a new city.  I'm an extrovert with plenty of extrovert needs, and to think I would do a home school curriculum without a CC community was just plain SCARY! 

But the window cleared and I started to see God would lead us through the fog.  I once again lived out the scripture that says, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." Phil 1:6.

So I got busy searching schools, home school co ops, charter schools, everything out there and NOTHING fit! Nothing. I kept thinking I must be making this too hard. Why is everyone else getting all this confirmation and not me? Ever feel like God might not answer in time? I did. The slots were getting filled. I was waiting for two months already...

Then it happened. I started trusting again. Once I was able to take his Hand and allow Him to lead me into a new trust relationship, I was really becoming okay with anything. Even.... public school! I know, imagine that! I was totally open to whatever and where ever He wanted, I just needed it to be confirmed it was His plan and not ours. Then I thought, Lord, how could you call us to a public school? I thought this wasn't Your plan?

Finally He answered. Slowly, He began to confirm in me who my kids were, who my husband was, who I was- when I was busy and when I was not. How the blog was great, but maybe not for all the right reasons. I started to see that I was truly a "unit approach" person. Always was and likely will be for a while. I had my curriculum for the year, but had to be open to tossing it out the window, because obedience was what He wanted most. 

Obedience. Simple Obedience.

So I sat and waited.  

Finally He spoke again.

Thankfully, my husband and I are still on this journey of educating our kids (as all parents are) and I did find a school that organizes all the social activities for me so we can just be social when we need to be. It's kinda my dream program. I get to teach the subjects and curriculum I want and we get to attend as many elective classes as we want or none at all. And best yet, unlike all the other schools at this time, this one still has room. Plus it was the smallest ratio for Kinder and it was FREE!

So I hope I haven't lost you as a reader since I'm not doing CC, I hope you aren't going to think I am giving my children to strangers to raise since he will be in a "regular" classroom setting for 3 hours a week. And I hope you know that all of us, no matter where we are on this road to education need to listen to God everyday, every moment. Obedience is what He wants, not perfection, just obedience. I pray that for each of you this year. 

And finally I can honestly say, I'm ready to take flight! 

I look forward to where God will lead my family and yours.  I pray I can still be a part of your lives as well. Your comments enrich me and I am learning each day what it means to be "educated."

I am planning to teach along side the Classical subjects and will follow the same basic themes this second year, but do it differently. So if you want to come along, I invite you. I think we will have a blast learning about Newton's laws, Outer-space, The Biomes, all of it! For we are all on such a wild ride, I pray you enjoy the adventure with God and with your little ones- regardless of where He has called you.

Many blessings as you start your new year!

-Crecia