So recently, I have been thinking about how much we are taught to compare. We compare from early on, who has the biggest candy, who has the newest toys, and grow into teens thinking about our hair, clothes, bodies, and more. We are thrown into a world that compares us before we even know the meaning of the word. We compare our child's weight, hair color, eyes, milestones, etc. As parents, we compare our children's behavior, our children's habits, our Husband's schedules, our children's academic progress, our homes, our decorations, our relationships, we compare EVERYTHING!
And even though I think it's important to compare certain things, like how I felt about kids before having them and how I feel now, or how I made dinners before and how I throw things together now, or laugh at how long I spent fixing my hair and how the lack of showers abounds now- most comparisons leave us in one place.
Disconnected.
I know this because when I am comparing myself to others all I do is stop seeing them as someone I can relate to. Since I've been consciously trying to stay off my mobile FB app during the school hours, I notice how much I am not comparing. Now, this is not to say that I dislike FB, on the contrary. It makes me feel connected to friends and family... as long as I don't compare.
People compare on blogs, Pinterest, at Co Op's, at ladies' lunches, they compare all the time. So staying off FB doesn't cure the problem. As far as I can tell comparing goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. The serpent got them to think what life would be life if they just.... and once they did they had comparisons.
I was just telling my husband how much I miss a colleague of mine because of the feedback I would get from her. She never saw us in a comparing way, but just always worked to teach me how to relate to others. She was a true role model of self confidence and resilience against the comparing world.
I think this comparing happens amongst moms across the board. Working moms, stay at home moms, home school moms, it's something we all deal with. So here is what I'm working to do today to stop the comparisons. When I hear or notice it happening, I'm going to stop and think about three things I can relate with that person. I might even tell them as often relating out loud helps others know we are aren't comparing.
I hope by the end of the week, I can see the difference relating makes.
Blessings to you and yours!
-Crecia